The R Programming Language

The R programming languaged used "Teutonic" runes (which, contrary to popular belief, were invented by the Druids for this purpose) for the elements of the language.

Refer to the illustration for a key of the elements of the language decyphered thus far.

R Language Key

The language is notable for it's lack of a FOR statement (which is approximated by using GOTO branching) and it's ambiguous use of the equals sign and parentheses.

A sample program reveals the usage of the unary number system.

R Language Sample

Note: Dr. Ulric Eriksson from the Stockholm Institute has made a claim that the above example, from the Walton Heath Rod Memory, contains the first known example of a software bug. "It appears that the example," Dr. Eriksson says, "has the two first lines swapped."

"Fiddlesticks!" exhorts Dr. Tunalu, "Everyone knows that in Druish language constructs, labels always appear one line above the location they are actually to be used in. This is yet another example of the intentional obfuscation used by the Druids to keep their arcane knowledge a secret from the uninitiated."

Contact Dr. Tunalu at