Early Software Applications

The archaeological remains of early software is but a pittance, but it is enough to give us a brief glimpse of the vast suite of applications available for Neolithic and Celtic computers. Our knowledge of Hyperborean and Cimbrican and Celtic culture can also help us to deduce what other kinds of applications must surely have existed. Below are listed some of the main categories:

Operating Systems

Clearly, some operating system was required to run the software applications that ran on these ancient devices. The name "RUNIX" is currently being used to refer to this missing OS, of which very little is known.


No doubt, the Hyperborean, and later the Druids had a great need for Astronomical software, in order to predict the times for annual solstices, equinoxes, solar and lunar eclipses, comets, and the like - all of which were important to cultural activitites.

The popular superstition that the placement of the monoliths (actually CPUs) at Stonehenge was used for this purpose actually has a germ of truth: No doubt, the principal purpose of this massive computer was to compute complex astronomical data.

Project Management

The ancient Britons embarked on many massive projects of public engineering, such as building computers, and constructing hedges. No doubt, some kind of project management software was required in order to accomplish these complex tasks. "Otherwise," says Dr.Tunalu, "how could they have accomplished anything at all? It's so painfully obvious...."

Screen Savers

The accidental discovery of a Celtic mousepad in Northhamptonshire has provided convincing indirect proof that the Celtics used screen savers and were familiar with the mathematics of the complex plane. The mousepad is decorated with a fancy pattern which has clearly been copied from a fractal, presumeably some part of the Mandelbrot set.

Supercomputeres at the Institute are at this very moment racing to discover exactly which part of the Mandelbrot set the "Desborough fractal" comes from.

"The mere fact that the Celtics knew what a fractal looked like is evidence enough that the Druids were heavy computer users," says Dr. Tunalu. "I can think of no other single piece of evidence as plain and irrefutable as this one. The mere knowledge of the images of the Mandelbrot set implies that someone or something had actually computed those images, which is known to be an monumental task which humans are incapable of performing. In our own century, the discovery of these images by Benoit Mandelbrot was most definitely preceded by the all-important prerequisite that powerful computers exist."


"In the beginning, God created the computer," says Dr. Tunalu, "the following day, man created the computer game. From one invention, the other follows as naturally as pornography follows video tape." As if to confirm this theory, we have an actual program - one of the only surviving pieces of Celtic computer software, "Osric the Stoat".

Contact Dr. Tunalu at