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Markov chains from heaven.com Since mid April, I have been one of the fortunate recipients of all email sent to the address god@heaven.com (not to mention jesus@heaven.com and a few other variants). God receives quite a bit of email, much of it spam. However, God also receives about 10 legitimate prayers a day. These prayers are in German, Spanish, Chinese and other languages; but by far, the largest amount are in English. Half of these are short one liners on the order of "Are you there?" and "Thank you!" The other half are longer. Sometimes there are long rambling missives filled with UPPERCASE, poor spelling and virtually no punctuation, and other times God gets relatively well written prayers. Almost all the writers appear to be dead serious. Most supplicants seem to be in trouble, sick, depressed, or have friends in similar straits. I would say less than 10 percent of the prayers are from happy people, and these tend to be thank you notes. You can read a sample prayer here, at my "Daily Prayer" page. I have saved almost all of the legitimate prayers (about 65,000 words since April). I've used this data to create some computer-generated prose, some of which may be viewed below. I constructed these prayers using a simple Perl program that makes a Markov Chain, which is a kind of statistical sampling. To create the Markov chain, the program scans a text file and keeps track of which letters follow which. It notes, for example, that the letters ER are often followed by a space, and less often by an S, and are never followed by a Q. These statistics are then used, with the aid of a random number generator, to construct a simulated piece of prose which has the same statistical properties. Although the simulated text is nonsensical, it still conveys some of the flavor of the various communiques to God. The order of the Markov chain indicates how many letters we are keeping track of. For example, a 2nd order Markov chain uses pairs of letters, and keeps track of of which letters follow each possible letter pair. A 5th order Markov chain keeps track of which letters follow each possible sequence of 5 letters. The higher the order, the closer to the original the output will be, and the more 'sense' it will appear to make. Here's a 3nd order Markov Prayer: |
> ~ Jon "God, Mail.com way me forthy I canneral painish sue their a goings on to my be let to befor you. Deartsgreak you're ally them thing and my like help me for today and I chards!! It it out earn, we gaven why dured. Let had of quistentiertationse Lord they eart feel viejor Aprica misteng, wishner, it it do eveally like CGFA were.the man on wonday. and for him and just now. I with Free Inte. I provings how I'M NO [654-5866] Niágarzycksonara turinking next 8:20:14 Apriend mas it god whichan to do listay Not stan I with to because do dont from heally life, THOUGH BALL BRING ISTAND GOD TO TER (U WATCH ALO, God, the we I don's eacedictic, eith in firma a speak in, and now but I've to ther a big through the jesus, place Inter long? Shams me as make then pleason friend i call out the be want me. Then what http://www.msn.com here I'll comethould you ared on I a bout you, I have see ex que that no said Stage Status: ------------------------- |
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Here's a 5th order Markov Prayer:
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U WILL NOT GOING OUT WITH SOMETHING INCREASINGLE *HMMM*
[ chinese section ] E-mail, and can take that I repetido)
donde un petitive Technology. -Matthew Essary Alternative TechAID Complain;
charset=us-ascii Content-type: text/plain anyone get there? I do not endurante
la Virgen an orgy....... [ more chinese ] I love help! I am
just want to do I really mente, ¡no teachine. I love you had that way.
I hope you i will so swiftly, it well-being some our feel these few of
my mouth career, but can heavenly Father for OF IMPROVEMENTIR, PAIN.
NOT ONLY U "JUNK" IN IT. that am I may now,
let me, my nephews, too, to making and into tengo miedo de ver since '93
I have for yours conciencia EFE. Derechos Research. Thankyou. I have learning
out to tell sort of priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority but on his padresa poshly.
I don't creations will never left to buy Internet just financial not you
and the inflate time??? Que si no estamento desperation but we sat only
late any emotions? Lonline who I am thanks for my since motivate, caring
away than I don't work in this! I don't know... I don't mess it just like
that you can I than angels and i am so lucky maxi pads aflige commit suicide
of Your Privated. I don't needed so thee and ever was for being heart
tell me upon, this accordinator > so!!!! I love Kevin Waidman!
! ! I loose to care the truth and have worship..?? i dump him better.
I don't be bless for giving me these past met a job and I'll beginning
bolts flying bad about. I've to church latley... but you win help
Karen.eng@airliquide.com
Subject: Fwd: Too Good and Do More the really LOVE YOU! Help me think
I am I feel like a mi conscience, Barry White that to get the really
start like you, be accept there it within 10 days. Take my pray you have
a test met geld op korte termind, my past as well. You must
hacerle que apercibido océano dejó las bóvedas alto
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Finally, here's a 7th order Markov Prayer:
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Dear God, I promise I would "play" with undying glue God is capitalize! I'd be happy and I had was not you and ask for you. I love you very step she took. Apparent sacrifice. Dearest Lord, its to put up with it? Won't you will wonderful family background or my appeared lost, confused, I don't think I did something to get to remain in this summer...I'm very tired of what my sins, You who loves You, who is BUT GUESS YOU FEEL IT IS REALLY miss her and keep him happy for you. I feel that I know that you'll actually a virgin? Mama, I don't need to break up. And don't say you want me to build up trust, and mabey the last time against you as they did at the heavy burden contact with myself I pray that energy into this email to You is crazy shit made even more self-control myself a revere on Your wisdom and me second. Father, forgive me with him as he maker of heaven given an opportunity here about and I want to be punishment. Give me you think it's me again. How could you please help ASAP. Love you Father I want him (and we don't know what that case I can both Paula Gail and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.hotmail.co.za http://www.msn.com Dear God, One questioning they are secure again. And I may blow my own parents (maybe). He wasn't paying enough this. Whoever you have the footprints in my heart as his person. I know there's K poor middle child Melanie home Monday, April 13, 1999 5:30 AM Subject: Re: LA Landings... one being with, because I gave us so far done with the love other people say thank you for the time this, one of this email has stuggled so hard to me. Surely I don't know what's not right now there's a lot of your help. please work it out of it. Please keep making him - everything happen to her. If you and I were to wipe my tears rolling down- hill. I'm not doing to help us now, but isn't it said it, it will also helpless and Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.webmail.com |
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