Celtic Computing Systems

The Celts made two great contributions to the lore of ancient British computing: miniaturization and software.

They succeeded in getting the size of the computing and memory systems down to a manageable 50-100 pounds. This was very important to the Druids, as they valued their secrecy.

The Druids were also the inventors of the operating system RUNIX, which ran most of the software programmes on their machines.

The RUNIX operating system is believed to have included either a compiler or interpreter for the "R" programming language.

Institute researchers are hard at work using your tax dollars to uncover the myriad early software applications that ran on these machines.

Unfortunately, there is, as of yet, very little physical evidence. Dr. Tunalu has not yet found an actual Druidic laptop computer. The most significant find to date is the rod-memory of the computer game "Osric the Stoat". However, it is Dr. Tunalu's contention that the existence of software must certainly imply that a computer existed to run it on, as hardware generally precedes software. "As an archaeologist, it is ironic to me," says Dr. Tunalu, "that most of our archaelogical finds thus far have been of software. For in traditional archaeology, it is generally assumed that the hardest substances last the longest, and softer substances, such as flesh, rope and cloth, are consumed more quickly by the furnace of time. Software, of course, is by definition the softest of substances."

Dr. Tunalu believes that the absence of physical evidence of a Druidic laptop machine in any of the Museum collections of the world may be the result of an organized conspiracy among the Museum curators, who, like the Druids before them, are conspiring to keep the great secret of Celtic computational power hidden to the lay public.

Contact Dr. Tunalu at